I tried that and it didn't work.  All I got for repeatedly saying "I blame Skinhit" was a dry mouth. 

Bugger, and I don't have any shandies to lubricate with.

In the meantime, however, I have given it some thought and have decided to sue the ex-missus for my gall stones.  It was all that greasy food she served me up... and I want recompense for all my pain and suffering... not to merntion revenge, cos not all my pain and suffering is the direct result of food, greasy or otherwise.

Yup, my ex could burn water, so I reckon there's a suit in that alone... but it's mostly for the time with the exploding boiled eggs.  Physical and emotional injuries were sustained that time.  I couldn't sleep that night because every time I closed my eyes I was ducking flying eggs... and eventually the ducking became so pronounced that I fell out of bed.

So, to go with my black eye from a flying egg, and a sprained wrist from falling off the step-ladder while cleaning eggs off the ceiling, I now had a bruised butt from falling out of bed... and they do say revenge is sweet.  Now the suit will not seek any money because she probably has none worth mentioning, so I'll seek a court order that places her in an room with a tennis ball launcher firing hard boiled eggs that'll bounce all around the room, just like hers did... and air-tight except for the vents streaming curried gabbage gas into it.

Your in my thoughts and prayer brother.

Just a little something to cheer you up po, theres nothing worse  than  those Kidney stones, gallstones and prostate stones one is bad enough but to have all  3 at once  alll I can say is    "OH THE PAIN , THE PAIN" please get well soon

You rock!

Forget the blind for now and do whatever it takes to ease the pain.  I hope you can get something done about the stones soon.  Try and have a great holiday season Noah.

Just got back from the urologist. They are still convinced I can pass them. He gave me a script for more percoset (my hero) and some Flomax. If I don't pass them by Monday, they're going in after them with a 'basket'.

Aside from the obvious, like the words stone and urinary tract do not really belong together, niether does 'basket' and urinary tract...or basket and wally-wally for that matter. I'm not an idiot. I know there is only one way in just like there is only one way out.

When I think of a basket I think of a bread basket...or the big basket I had on the handle bars of my old Schwinn. Or a lobster basket. In this case, even 'basketball' considering what all this feels like going through me.

But then he said the only words that matter...'We'll put you to sleep first..."

I made him put it in writing. My wife thought I was being ridiculous. I said 'They don't put you to sleep to cath you, so why would I expect this to be any different?' Damn straight. Then of course she through in the 'What a whiner! Try carrying a nine pound baby and giving birth to that..."

I don't care. I got it in writing, anyway.

You're darned tootin' they don't belong together!!! 

Believe me, I speak from experience.

My doctor told me not to stress, that "they'll pass in time".  Yeah, right!

What he neglected to tell me was that it'd feel worse than a dose of clap and having the urethera scraped clean with a strand of rusty barbed wire.

Doc: "Now be sure to drink plenty of water.... and remember, try to hold on for as long as you can to build up some pressure.  That should help eject the stones more easily.

Me: "What if I don't drink water?  Fish do rude things in it, you know!!!"

Doc: "Don't be silly, water won't hurt you."

So I went home, turned on the tap and lay under it for about half an hour with my mouth open.  Well!!!!  He did say drink plenty of water... and I wasn't taking any chances that that/those stones were getting stuck halfway down my piddling equipment.

Yeah, right!!!  Despite the gallons of water, one got stuck halfway out. And it was a big sucker, too.

Imagine a boa or python after its just swallowed a medicine ball.  Well that's what my piddling equipment looked like... halfway down there's this enormous lump that's three times bigger around than the rest of it.   And OWWEEEE, did I mention that it hurt like a bitch?

It was at that time I started eying off the fire hose.  I'd seen it on TV, in prison riot movies and the like, so I figured I was gonna hook up to the fire hose in the hallway and blast that sucker right out of there.

Yup, that did the trick orright, in more ways than one.  Not only did the kidney stone become dislodged, thus avoiding the medicos having to go in after it, I didn't need to go into day surgery and get the colon cleansing I'd been booked in for.  However, I digress, as the solution left me with another dilemma... how I was going to dislodge the golf ball-sized kidney stone that had embedded itself deep in the bathroom wall.

Not being much of a home handyman, I didn't have the necessary tools, and I wasn't going to bend the missus good silver, so I got in a handyman trained for such situations.  Well he managed to dig it out after a couple of hourss... not to mention attempts and a few broken tools - geez that thing must've had some force behind it - and now, if I wear a supportive back brace, and only if I do, I wear it on a gold chain after taking it to a jeweller to get it mounted in a clasp.

All's well that ends well!  Not that I'm suggesting you'll have to resort to a fire hose or anything.

I go in tomorrow morning at 7:30 for surgery. 12 days of this shit is enough.

Hey, bud....Truly from the heart, best of luck and a super speedy recovery.

btw, have you developed a craving for "Rocky" flicks?

No, but I've been listening to a lot of Rolling Stones.

That's today here in Oz!  That's one thing we get before the US, I suppose... that's today's sunrise... every day, too.

I really do hope it all goes exceedingly well for you Po`... that you feel decidedly better afterwards.

All the best with it, mate.

Good luck and hopefully a speedy recovery.

Thanks.

*Your new avatar is freaking me out. WHAT'S in the BAG?!

 You da man, Po'.

Suffice it to say he's on his way to the Doctor's Office.

Oh.. that BAG!!!!   Let's just say that it has been appropriately filled and will be set alight on somebody's doorstep.