He can't have!  My grandfather was calling me a "pussilanimous polecat" (skunk) before Jafo could read, write or spell... that was when I was 3 y/o, and usually the morning after curried cabbage the night before. At that time, Jafo was 2 y/o and still pulling all sorts of weird WTF faces at words longer than 3 letters when being read his bedtime stories.

In fact, Jafo didn't learn to read, write and spell until much later, picked up the family album and asked his mother who the weird looking baby was. After that, and thinking: "I never wanna look like that again!", he began reading the dictionary every night and never wagged another English lesson again.

Then how come him not teachin' Zubaz how to spell stuff? I tell ya...once them starkerbarks start rippin' thru the world there's no tellin' what'll happen. You think that big ass explosion in Siberia at Tungusta (is that right...Tungusta?) anyway... it wasn't no meteor what blasted trees flat for a hundred miles all around. Oh no no no...it was Grandpa starkers experimentin' with hard apple cider laced moonshine is what. Back then Curried Cabbage was what kept tightly under wraps sos the Zsar Nickledork wouldn't find out and use it to conquer the whole neighborhood.

I'm lookin' at that little blue guy gobblin' up all food on the table. Hey Po...curb that dude before he finds the curried cabbage. He'll blow up the whole WC forum thing and then what we gonna do...huh???

 tic tic tic......................................................................................KABOOOOM!!!!!

 

Of course it wasn't!  A descendant of the great Gengis Khan himself was responsible for that.. with the help of curried cabbage and a note from me.  Yeah, he needed instructions on the do's and don'ts... the correct procedure for barking safely in the event of a fourth helping at dinner the night before.

Sadly, I saw no harm in a fourth or fifth helping, so gave him the green light.  Sadly, however, acres of forest were decimated while he was out fox hunting.  Green light my arse... more like 007's license to kill!!  Yup, the fox hounds that heard him let one rip from the saddle (well those that didn't succumb on the spot) all buggered off and left him to find the fox on his own... cos obviously his fellow fox hunters weren't hanging around. either.

Anyway, Anal-Gitis Khan, all alone in his quest for the fox, decided that the task and his surroundings were overwhelmingly against him, so made his task easier by flattening the forest with a turbo charged starkerbark.  Unfortunately, however, the fox was blown into orbit around a distant quasar and hasn't been seen since.... which annoyed Anal-Gitis Khan greatly, not only because he didn't catch the fox, but more because the EPA issued him with an environmental code of conduct breach and a hefty fine.

Oh yeah, on the "meteor" explanation...er, rumours, there are differing eyewitness accounts and some discrepancies.  While some (well those who survived) reported a fiery meteor crashing to Earth in the forest, others claim that Anal-Gitis Khan placed a cork in his rectum so his horse wouldn't bolt during the hunt, that the pressure became too great and the cork was expelled under such considerable force it caught fire and the extreme heat actually flattened the forest.

Personally, I tend to lean toward the latter account, given I have first-hand knowledge of the awesome power of curried cabbage... its devastating consequences if unleashed with undue care and a lack of experience.  Yup, cross the meteor explanation off the list... it was Anal-Gitis and his 'gas propelled' fiery cork.

Now there's something I bet not many of you knew... that I am an avid historical buff and have explanations for many of history's hidden secrets: such as the fall of Rome; why Vesuvius erupted and swallowed Pompeii, and what caused Krakatoa to erupt so violently.  Yup, mans misguided hand was at work, as usual... as was the curried cabbage.

Salina is 75 miles away - I would hardly call that on the college campus.  I checked the yellow pages and apparently since I have left, they now have a Pizza Hut, and the convenience store I worked at has since become a "Casey's General Store" that also sells pizza, but my son worked at a Casey's for a little while, and the pizza they make is basically Totinos in a box stuck into a toaster oven for a few minutes and served on a piece of cardboard.

     There ya go...starkerbark Totinos in a box and zappeded with highly concentrated ectoplasmic irradiation then serveded on a piece of cardboard. Ain't that a bitch. Jeez...it's like ya can't go nowheres nowadays without findin' such inhospitable unniceties fostered upon an innocent starkerbark. No wonder they blow off as much nu-cular fecundities. They bes unfairly containeded and squeezeded inside magnetic bottles all the time with mono-aniclimatically irregularitational substances that would drive any not so sane starkerbark into imploding and blowing the cork straight down, up or sideways depending on which way the wind is blowing and flattening whole stands of 3,000 foot Sequoia trees in the redwood forest of north Wickershamshire. What a waste. And then...and then Anal-Gitis Khan and his meager minion types come along and try to emulate the infamous starkers and him highly concentrated thermoplasticated ectoplasnostically irradiated......bark.

     Want proof? Go to Arizona and look at Meteor Crater. Then swing west some more and look at the Aegean Sea where Santorini used to be. It's original name was Thera but it ain't there no more. Thera blew up and sunk Atlantis under the ocean in the Aegean Sea. It wasn't until 65 B.C.E. that they were able to find out what happened. Anal-Gitis Khan's Uncle Rec'Tal-itis Pootious Maximus nee Glutious developed a severe case of downunderconstipationoutback syndrome. It was very prevalent back in the day. He went to see the doctor who refused to examine Rec'Tal-itis Pootiuos Maximus nee Glutious' backside citing he never wanted to be stared back at again.

     The doctor prescribed K_Y jellytabs to be inserted orally by Rec'Tal-itis Pootious Maximus nee Glutious' hermorphrodigitalikali manservant six times an hour for three months. Providing there was sufficient liquid lubricant on hand or someplace real close. Because of the times they lived in sand in the vaseline was optional. Bet ya didn't know about Uncle Rec'Tal-itis Pootious Maximus nee Glutious...huh?

        

    

This is what I WANT for the start menu. I have sat staring at a blank PS screen for days trying to come up with the atomic retro look for this in something I think can work. I really think this may be it. I tried to get back to what starkers wa liking so much about the first one. If I can get some help with animation, I would like the 'face' disc to rotate with a cabbage head on the other side.  What do you think?

Of course I knew of Uncle Rec'tal... he was the one who inspired Mr Methane to follow in my footsteps.

In fact, Uncle Rec'Tal was revered by many in his day as being the greatest fartologist ever. Howver, some feared his rectal recitals (those who didn't have opera glasses and had to sit in the front row) and soon his stage act became a thing of the past.  It was such a sad end for such a promising performer, but he was made of better stuff, from that era of 'never say die' barkers, and he went on to street perfoming... busking his arse into the history books with such amazing feats as barking the entire 1812 Overture without taking a breath.

Unfortunately, however, Rec'Tal met with an early demise... a premature ebarkulation, if you will.  Yup, his stage act was resurrected, and one night he was performing his renowned rendition of the 1812 Overture when someone thought they had to ignite the cannons during the fiinal ovement.  Sadly, Uncle Rec'Tal was instantly incinerated in a bizzare spontaneous combustion event that has since never been repeated due to the lavish opera house being completely gutted by fire and taking several city blocks with it.

Hey Po`, I must say that I like the idea and think that you have a pretty good handle on it.  However, I think the 3 poles holding Mr Cabbagehead and the hazard symbols could do to be a little shorter to make the panel look/feel more compact.  Other than that, pretty good and progressing nicely.

Oh, and the other minor change (being it's a curried cabbage related WB) I'd change the "All Parking" to "All Barking"... maybe even "Bark Repositry"

I do need to work on the sizing. But to keep the look I'm going for, it's going to be a bit larger than the average panel.

How about ' Gas Station' ?

I got Harley in IM and he hit the nail on the head. I was going for that retro 'Vegas Casino' sign look and he mentioned it looked like a' Diner ' sign.

I don't think a 'slightly larger' start panel will be a problem for most. However, I do think the poles being that long would give it a larger than it really is look, which is why I suggested perhaps shortening them a little so as not to appear as if they're reaching toward the top of the screen, if you know what I mean.  Guess I'm just thinking of how many people have said in the past how much they value their screen 'real estate' and thus prefer more compact start panels.

Anyway, it's just a thought!  Me, well I quite like the idea and believe it has great potential... and to think it all started as a crazy joke in the 'pirate' thread I and others hijacked on TheGuyPC.  Hehe.

Gas Station is also good and in keeping with the theme.  However, I'm sure whatever you eventually decide upon will do it justice.

The center one rotating is a good one with the cabbagge head on the reverse. However the other two could be further enhanced, if you like, with a glow of some kind to simulate a bark emanation or rather the toxic glow after the initial Kaboom. Or...and this is wierd...seeing them melt. Also 'Gas' Station is cool. You've got the eye on it Bro. We're keeping the faith.

I dunno 'bout 'cool' .. but it certainly fits the bill.  What would also be great if you can pull it off, Po`, is a green gas cloud or two on mouse-over. 

Hehe, like I don't have enough of those floating around here already... but anyway.

The retro/vegas look is super...if you can pull off the sizing. I agree about the 'real estate' thing...i've seen that a lot too. Of course, real estate is pretty cheap in Vegas about now.

Colors are perfect. The 'Diner' sign thing is right too. It'll also maybe give you a place for the 'search' and 'on/off' stuff. Might have to make it a shade taller (the 'star' form) to fit the rectangles into the green triangle. the extra height could be borrowed from the posts, I suppose. Could put flashing white lights around it to emphasize the  <---- Parking thing...or the star or menu portions...maybe all of 'em.

Lookin' very good Po'.

Retro/vegas look is a real 'gas' I also agree with the colors being perfect. The green gas cloud...maybe with streaks of brown in it. I don't think the real estate will be too big a deal considering it's only a start menu and up for what...a few seconds. I've seen others as large. But that's up to you Po.

On another note...sound schemes. I once built an analog circuit that produced a wawa type sound that rose swiftly in both pitch and volume then sort of faded out slowly. Might be interesting to look into different sound effects like a reverb or echo. What do you guys think?

edit* The flashing white lights. LIke those used in cplair's birthday post?

Tell ya what, guys, there's some pretty good ideas being 'floated' around here.  I paticularly like the idea of a sound scheme and different effects... now that could really enhance/set this project off.  Now should I get out my microphone and start recording some outrageous 'barks' for this?? 

Hehe, with echo and a bit of reverb added they'd sound even more awesome... if that's possible. 

The flashing lights around the 'Gas Station' Sign, I think, would have to be relatively small and not too bright/gaudy, so as not to take away from the overall theme... but yeah, lights sound good as well.

I'm also thinking for the start button, instead of a whole cabbage, maybe a bowl with yellowy-green curried cabbage in it, with animated steam rising when you click it, if that's at all possible.

I went and had another look and I'm thinking instead of a rotating disc(s), wouldn't it be easier to have it/them change states, whereby the image changes from one to another upon mouse-over/clicking of a pre-designated task or button?  Being a non-skinner I know nothing about animations in WB's, but I imaginge that a rotating disc may be harder to implement than a changing state that would probably be less distracting for users.  I'm sort of thinking the start panel itself shouldn't be too busy so as not to distract or detract from the theme.  The start panel may not be up for a long time, but some people rely on it to access folders, files and apps all the time, and 'too busy' may be off-putting for some.

I hope that I'm not getting too bossy or critical, whatever here but I DO want this project to be a success, and having read many a time of users saying 'this or that is too busy/gaudy/bright', I just felt the need to mention these things... cos sometimes less can be more, if you know what I mean.  With so many really neat ideas being floated here, I know how easy it is to get carried away/swept up in the euphoria of the whole thing (been there done that before), so I guess I'm just trying to add a little perspective.

Don't sweat it, if you can you can, but if not I am more than happy with the current theme idea/state of affairs, so please, focus your time, energies and ideas on the one before us and leave the other for another time, if you so decide to pick it up again.