Wood very green and fresh and...and...EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!

Quick...quick...get the air......uh oh...too late. Best call back the hazmat crews...there's another live one loose.

'I fart, therefore I am.'

Cows fart...therefore they am too. Starkers doesn't. He barks and the world gets blasted back to the stone age. Want proof? Look at the Amazon and those people still stuck there. The wind coming out of OZ struck there first. Good for the trees (hence their dark green/brown colors) but real bad for folks.

Didn't Renee "Petit Chou" Descartes say that?

Therefore you am, what?  You am therefore sleeping on the couch cos the missus don't appreciate being awoken by a resounding 'dutch' oven???

Yeah, I know... I've moved further up the list.

'THE' list. Uh oh......CC gas doin' the rumble bumble thing again? Say...aren't those siren type thingies they put up near OZ there for you know...in case the...um...(whispers sotto voce) The big one comes?

It was Renee Zellweger. I would have thought the face would've given that away.

Last time I made a face like that, I had to check to see if farts had lumps.

Last time I made a face like that... they did.

Nah, not really!  With the amount of curried cabbage I eat, the resulting gas absorbs any liquids and/or gooey substances, thus converting them to gas. So fortunately, all my farts are rather dry and lumpless.

However, having prunes and custard for dessert might be tempting fate.

 That was just damn funny Cap'n.

That'll teach 'er to stand behind him on line.

Looks more like she swallowed some. Now that......is downright nasty. I think she likes it.

Some what?

I'll hazard a guess!  It was on the set of 'Bridget Jonses Diary' and Hugh Grant (also known for his 'Divine' fascination) left something sticky on her seat.